Mixed Feelings on Suburbia
Wow. This one is hard for me. As an architecture student, I agree with many points John Keats makes about suburbia and what it is doing to our growing society and the creation of similar people everywhere. BUT I can't help to appreciate my upbringing in a suburban neighborhood. So, I will try to unpack my thoughts here and relate to my personal experiences.
Growing up:
I moved to a cookie cutter neighborhood when I was 4yrs old. We lived at the neck of the cul-de-sac and my elementary school was walking distance. All my friends from school were biking distance and a majority of my time was spent after school and on the weeks sitting in the driveway with friends or riding my scooter in the cul-de-sac. (My parents even had a cone in the street to slow drivers, classic!) I don't feel as if I missed out on any part of my childhood by living in suburbia - I actually feel like I, as a child, gained more camaraderie.
My Parents in Suburbia:
My dad has worked from home most of my life, but travel a lot for his job so he was just really home on the weekends. My mom raised my brother and I as a stay at home mom until she felt comfortable going back to work (when we were old enough). My mom's friends were often parent's of my friends - a very typical side effect of suburbia; and my dad's friends were often the husbands of those people or nearby neighbors with kids of likewise age. The best description my mom has ever given to our subdivision was "Real Housewives of Rock Creek", Rock Creek being the name of the subdivision. This comically parallels quite well with John Keats observations.
College Age:
I never applied in-state for college because I knew what my state had to offer and knew I loved it. There is plenty outside of suburbia and Denver has the urban draw of any larger city. I remember my dad telling me before going to undergrad in Nebraska, "Meeting people is going to be interesting because many of the kids in Nebraska are going to be culture-shocked." Boy was he wrong, I was the culture shocked one. This was the first time outside of my "bubble" and I had not been exposed to living in another culture. And if that wasn't culture shocking enough, I then moved to the South for grad school, and we all know how that goes. These moments are now where I can reflect and say my upbringing did not expose me, because of my enclosed suburban life. Good enough news - my parents are both from New York so we have traveled a decent amount and I am not really the naive person this post makes it out to be.
Empty Nesters:
My parents are now empty nesters in suburbia. THIS is where I am conflicted. A few years back, they struggled with the idea of being the oldest couple on the block surrounded by young families, but as they looked into moving to the city, they realized the rent of a 2 bedroom apartment in downtown Denver was more expensive than their current mortgage on the house I grew up in. They also realized, they would not know their neighbors and my parents are very outgoing and social people. They decided to invest in our house in suburbia and make it into their dream home - livable for the next 5-10 years until my brother and I are more settled. Since this decision, their relationships in the cul-de-sac could not be any stronger! The neighbor kids next door call my parents Aunt and Uncle and my dad has his biking comrade 2 doors down. I actually think suburban life without kids has been better for them than with kids (because they can make their own friends).
This reflection was a long winded way to state how I see the ups and downs of suburbia are in relation to people. Obviously sprawl, density, and transportation play more a role in subdivisions that are being established today... But I as a human, don't think suburbia is all bad. I as an architecture student, will view this from a tighter lens when it comes to "retrofitting suburbia".
Growing up:
I moved to a cookie cutter neighborhood when I was 4yrs old. We lived at the neck of the cul-de-sac and my elementary school was walking distance. All my friends from school were biking distance and a majority of my time was spent after school and on the weeks sitting in the driveway with friends or riding my scooter in the cul-de-sac. (My parents even had a cone in the street to slow drivers, classic!) I don't feel as if I missed out on any part of my childhood by living in suburbia - I actually feel like I, as a child, gained more camaraderie.
My Parents in Suburbia:
My dad has worked from home most of my life, but travel a lot for his job so he was just really home on the weekends. My mom raised my brother and I as a stay at home mom until she felt comfortable going back to work (when we were old enough). My mom's friends were often parent's of my friends - a very typical side effect of suburbia; and my dad's friends were often the husbands of those people or nearby neighbors with kids of likewise age. The best description my mom has ever given to our subdivision was "Real Housewives of Rock Creek", Rock Creek being the name of the subdivision. This comically parallels quite well with John Keats observations.
College Age:
I never applied in-state for college because I knew what my state had to offer and knew I loved it. There is plenty outside of suburbia and Denver has the urban draw of any larger city. I remember my dad telling me before going to undergrad in Nebraska, "Meeting people is going to be interesting because many of the kids in Nebraska are going to be culture-shocked." Boy was he wrong, I was the culture shocked one. This was the first time outside of my "bubble" and I had not been exposed to living in another culture. And if that wasn't culture shocking enough, I then moved to the South for grad school, and we all know how that goes. These moments are now where I can reflect and say my upbringing did not expose me, because of my enclosed suburban life. Good enough news - my parents are both from New York so we have traveled a decent amount and I am not really the naive person this post makes it out to be.
Empty Nesters:
My parents are now empty nesters in suburbia. THIS is where I am conflicted. A few years back, they struggled with the idea of being the oldest couple on the block surrounded by young families, but as they looked into moving to the city, they realized the rent of a 2 bedroom apartment in downtown Denver was more expensive than their current mortgage on the house I grew up in. They also realized, they would not know their neighbors and my parents are very outgoing and social people. They decided to invest in our house in suburbia and make it into their dream home - livable for the next 5-10 years until my brother and I are more settled. Since this decision, their relationships in the cul-de-sac could not be any stronger! The neighbor kids next door call my parents Aunt and Uncle and my dad has his biking comrade 2 doors down. I actually think suburban life without kids has been better for them than with kids (because they can make their own friends).
This reflection was a long winded way to state how I see the ups and downs of suburbia are in relation to people. Obviously sprawl, density, and transportation play more a role in subdivisions that are being established today... But I as a human, don't think suburbia is all bad. I as an architecture student, will view this from a tighter lens when it comes to "retrofitting suburbia".
I love your post because I can find it so relatable. I grew up in a very suburbanized area as well. After graduating from college and having the opportunity to live in a city for a few years, I'd definitely agree with all the reasons architects and urbanists advocate cities as superior, more sustainable living environments. But I think you're right about the special camaraderie that comes with living in the suburbs. My neighbors are like family to me - I'm not quite sure if we're best friends because our parents are best friends or if our parents are best friends because we are. Everyone having their own yard meant that we had a diversity of places to hang out. And, also, not being in the energy and excitement of the city meant that we had to "make our own fun," which I have to say sparked a lot of creativity and strengthened the friendships we made.
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